Off the wire:
White House press secretary Sean Spicer has resigned very early into President Trump’s term, and word that the embattled spokesman has left his position in protest over a perceived demotion has made their way to Bunny Ranch legal brothel owner Dennis Hof.
“I have some very knowledgable connections on the Trump team, and they’re telling me that The President was angry over his (Spicer’s) missteps in front of the press” Hof shared. “I think Sean will really flourish with a change of scenery, and I’m thinking that a spot on my public relations team may be the perfect place for him”.
Hof employs a team of publicists to oversee the massive amount of media that he generates on a daily basis. He’s quick to point out that while Spicer sports an impressive resume, he may also benefit from some valuable training that his team would be more than capable of providing.
“I get compared to Trump for a lot of reasons” said Hof, who himself ran a campaign for a Nevada state legislative seat that coincided with the president’s campaign cycle. “We’ve both had huge media presences for decades now. My public relations guys are the best at maintaining that, and they could be a really good influence on Sean, serving as mentors in a business that’s a lot cleaner than politics…Legal prostitution.”
Hof is backing up his pitch to Spicer with an attractive salary offer that would actually be a raise in pay from his previous job. “There’s a reason that everyone graduates from jobs in presidential administrations to the private sector” Hof chuckles. “Once I negotiate an incentive package with Sean, he’s going to be real happy here on Team Bunny Ranch”.
Hof declined to say what type of incentives he would be willing to offer Spicer, but past employees have been known to find “booty passes” tucked into their Christmas bonus checks, entitling them to the types of fringe benefits that have embroiled numerous presidents in scandals. To that end, he also thinks Spicer could provide good customer leads.
“We’ve made a business out of servicing hypocritical politicians, and my bet is that Sean Spicer’s contacts will be an endless source of new client recruitment in that regard.”