Tea Baggers Invade CSUF: “We Need Young People”

 

There were a number of get out the vote booths set up on the quad at Cal State Fullerton yesterday and the local Tea Party organization was doing their best to try and recruit needed young blood to their cause in a creepy sort of “will you help me find my lost puppy little boy or girl” way.

We secured a couple of brochures from the event.  One from the OathKeepers, a group that wants to return to the original intent of the Constitution (where women can’t vote and black people are property).  The OathKeepers are “a non-partisan associaiton of currently serving military, reserves, National Guard, veterans, Peace Officers and Fire Fighters who will fulfill the oath we swore, with the support of like minded citizens who take an oath to stand with us to support and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic, so help us God.”

From the brochure, it seems like it’s all about those who have guns not wanting to give them up. 

“We hope to return to the Constitutional Republic free from fear and hatred.” When did we stop being a Constitutional Republic? 

Aside from the Oath these .. citizens.. want you to take, there’s a list of orders they will not obey.  With each order, the batshit crazy ratio increases. I’ll have a snide comments in parens for you after each one.

1. We will not obey orders to disarm the American people (we won’t obey orders to disleg them eithers).

2. We will not obey orders to conduct warantless searches of the American people (but we’ll stand by meekly when the Bush administration spied on Americans)

3. We will not obey orders to detain American citizens as “unlawful enemy combatants” or subject them to military tribunal (what I said before)

4. We will not obey orders to impose martial law or a “state of emergency” on a state (other than New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina, when has this been a problem?)

5.  We will not obey orders to invade or subjugate any state that asserts its sovereignty (unless they have lot of oil of course).

6.  Will will not obey any order to blockade American cities, thus turning them into giant concentration camps (the bullshit meter is buried in the overload mode on this one).

7. We will not obey any order to force American citizens into any form of detention camps under any pretext (Japanese Americans could have used you during WWII).

8.  We will not obey orders to assist or support the use of foreign troops on US soil against the American people to keep the peace or to maintain control (so much for those helpful Iranian election poll monitors Iran was planning to send to Tea Party districts).

9. We will not obey orders to confiscate the property of the American peple including food and other essential supplies (b-u-l-l-e-t-s are essential, plus any Glenn Beck book they can get their hands on).

10.  We will not obey any orders whcih infringe on the right of the people to free speech, to peaceably assemble and to petition their government for a redress of grievances (unless their homosexual and the liberal media wants to cover a gay pride parade to protest Prop 8 in California).

And these weren’t even the real bad batshit crazy people.  Those would be the SOC912 crowds, those who were extolling the wisdom of Glenn Beck.  “Glenn uses the liberal’s own words against them” was a phrased uttered to some of the CSUF students.  The 912ers encouraged the students to check out some websites like True The Vote and Agenda Documentary as “evidence” to support their claims.

And what a surprise, the group praises conservatism while denouncing liberalism. 

The SOC912 TeamParty gathers to “take back their county” (from whom, the majority of voters who elected the last round of leaders?) and they seem all about combining conservative politics with religion.  One nation under God, but of course, that God for the members might not be Allah or Buddha, just to be clear.

The nine principles of the group are as follows (my snarky comments in parens):

1. America is good (and most of the time, we are, but not always)

2.  I believe in God and He is the Center of my life (a lot of patriotic Americans are athiest or Muslim…do they count. God is the center of a radical Islamic terrorist’s life too, isn’t he?)

3.  I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday (this is impossible for Glenn Beck who lies like a rug).

4.  The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority; not the government (unless, it’s a gay couple who can’t get married because religious zealots think gay marriage is immoral; what about couples who are not married but have children together?  The term family is broad; their definition is very narrow)

5.  If you break the lawy, you pay the penaltiy. Justice is blind and no one is above it (unless you’re Rush Limbaugh with lots of prescription drugs, Karl Rove and Scott Libby outing a covert CIA operative, George W. Bush authorizing torture in America’s name….you get the idea).

6.  I have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results (unless your side lost the last election, you oppose equal pay for equal work if its a woman, and gay people still can’t get married or adopt children; rights for me but not for thee).

7.  I work hard for what I have and I will share with whom I choose to. Government cannot force me to be chartible (fine, Government doesn’t have to pave your roads, pick up your trash, educate your kids or put out the fire when your house goes up).

8.  It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my person opinion (when a Democrat is in the White House; but question the decisions of a Republican president during a time or war and your an un-American pinko commie scumsucker who should be deported back to his or her country of origin even if your a third generation American; and it’s not un-American for me to call you an ignorant, fact-challenged moron).

9.  The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me (unless a Republican is in charge and they can do whatever they want).

I’m happy to report not very many of the 37,000 kids who attend CSUF flocked to the Tea Party’s call.