The Trump Ornament; Makes Your Xmas Tree Tip Alt-Right

It keeps trying to deport my nativity scene!

My office puts up a tree every year and we pool resources to get a really nice ornament, usually on the pricey side. For example, 8 years ago we got a really nice, hand crafted ornament from Hawaii. We liked it so much, we decided to get another one just like it 4 years later. Well, this year we all got together and chose a sedate, classy ornament from a shop in New York. My New York friends swore by their work and so we voted and chose it.
But then this red and gold POS showed up in the mail and we can’t figure out why! We went through the vote hat again and we definitely voted for the New York piece with overwhelming numbers. I’m a bit worried that our manager, who thinks he’s special and soooo sELECTIVE, might have gone over our heads and ordered this one instead.

It turns out we can’t get a refund and now we’re stuck with the ugly thing. We put it on the side of the tree facing the wall, but it must be bewitched or something because it keeps reappearing at the top of the tree every morning! We found our angel topper in the corner crying. We don’t know what happened and she says she’s afraid to tell us =/

Despite ordering a more reasonable ornament, this one arrived. It. Is. Yuge. It’s absolutely yuge. It’s the biggest ornament. Yuge.
I hung it on my tree, but it is so yuge that it has totally unbalanced my whole tree. No matter where I hang it, the tree leans waaaaaay over to the far right.

Came with an entire crate of white hood ornaments. Great bargain! Downside: My tree is now on fire.

Every autumn my family chooses a new ornament to go onto our holiday tree. This year it was between this ornament and another one that is less flashy, less gaudy, and just overall nicer. During our family meeting we overwhelmingly chose the other ornament but somehow we still ended up with this one. We’re not sure what happened.

Perfect for your rotten tangerine. Its small size makes it easy for tiny hands to handle. Poorly made though, almost like it was made from substandard materials by severely underpaid employees in a dilapidated factory overseas. The gold started turning green almost immediately.

This ornament appeared on my tree, against my own choice, and now my tree is very aggressive towards my wife. There’s empty breath mint containers around the floor near the tree, and I’m discouraging female friends and family to go anywhere near the tree.